Let’s talk about Carnival Love. Over the holidays, I covered couples [Read Part 1] that met each other during carnival [Read Part 2]. A lot of people idolize the idea of having a significant other that they can travel the world with, fete with and go to carnival with. Like most things, once you involve others [in this case it would be the environment] into your world, problems can arise, hence us needing boundaries.

*Photographs included are not associated with the couples*

There is a myth that you should not go to carnival with your significant other because of insecurities, jealousy or possessiveness [or whatever your reason] and I am here to debunk that. There are PLENTY couples who play mas together who have the time of their lives and go home with no issues. You don’t always have to be a loner, but as mentioned before there are boundaries. I asked some couples what their boundaries were and this is what they said:

This couple is based in New York

I only have one. No picking girls up and don’t have gal pulling on your dreads (that’s intimate to me)

Him – no man grabbing me up.

This couple is based in Washington, DC

Rules on the road: No wining for more than one song seems to be our only rule. We both free up and enjoy ourselves but no crazy wining, lifting, etc. with some random on the road. Respect is a minimum and we’re both secure with who we’ll be leaving with at the end of the night.

This couple is based in New York

Our rules are not to wine for too long, stay close on the road or at a Fete, setup a meeting point if we separate, be respectful above all..You won’t catch kissing, legs up, touching and feeling.. that’s not even an option.

This couple is based in the Netherlands 

Since it was our first carnival was in Trinidad, we did not know what to expect. The boundaries we made before we arrived were: no bumpa’s on rotation, no sticking to the same person, just thief a wine, have fun and move on.. I mean it’s Carnival. In the end after tasting the atmosphere it came down to one important rule: VETO. If one of us did not like something or the vibe we would have a Veto. Signal each other and it has to end right then and there. No arguing on the road, talk about it later at home. Luckily we didn’t have to use it.

This couple is based in New York

He can’t approach the ladies for the wine. If the female initiated a couple of seconds for the wine is ok and then walk away…no long grind up session! I personally like to wine up by myself so he’s always approached but like I said couple seconds only…no talking  you ain’t here to get to know nobody hunny. And don’t come back for seconds lol

This couple is based in London

We were both fine with each other dancing with other people but our boundaries were: I wouldn’t be picked up by other men or on di ground with them, them touching me up or slow whining with them and vice versa. It would be a wine and go about your business.

The commonality among all couples are RESPECT and COMMUNICATION. There are couples who felt like slow wines or face to face wining was inappropriate. This is something you would clarify with your partner. If you feel you can’t free up and allow your significant other to dance with other people, don’t even bother setting yourself to fail. Nobody has time to be fighting you on the road because you felt some kind of way.

Here are some survival tips:

1. Always communicate your expectations, your partner is not a mind reader. If a wine is okay but them putting their foot up for a wuk-up is not okay, say that.
2. Create boundaries around the wine. Maybe 2-3 songs per person or make sure the wine is never intimate in appearance.
3. If you and your man have a song.. you know “Overdue” is your song, DO NOT DANCE with someone else to that song.
4. Do not dance with exes or your partner’s arch-enemy on the road (DUH)
5. Be on the  lookout for each other, this is for safety. Anything could happen, and if there is no crew with you, you are responsible for each other.
6. No exchanging of contact information; there should be minimal communication

In short, too many rules could kill the vibes but remember why you are there, make memories with your partner, be safe and have fun.

Yours in Mas,